Mr. Linus Gets a Haircut

When I was a kid, one of my aunts was an accountant for a hair salon chain, which put her in the position of being able to give me one of the greatest gifts a kid could ever get but would never think to ask for: practice heads. By practice heads I mean the dummy heads that hair stylists practice on. Deferring to the labels at the bottom of the heads, which also bore the creepy classification of 100% Human Hair, the heads were dubbed the Lindas. The one great shortfall of the Lindas was that their hair couldn’t grow back in. For this reason, cutting the Lindas’ hair was an event. Well, that, and that there was all sorts of set up and clean up involved with cutting hair in a carpeted house.

Because of the great joy I got out of cutting the Lindas’ hair, because I had gained some mild confidence from previous minor trims, and because I can’t fathom what a barbershop visit for a nine-month-old would be like, I decided to cut my own child’s hair. Wanting to do this right, I took to Sally’s to arm myself with a proper pair of scissors and a wee little cape. I also happened upon a $1 tablecloth at Target. Why did I need a tablecloth to cut hair? Why, to keep the clean up simple, silly.

The lesson to be learned here is that one’s hair-cutting confidence is at its highest point prior to the actual snipping. Being the mommarazzo that I am, I decided it would be fun to take some before and after shots.

Before:

Note the length around the ears and at the neck. Yes, this was bothering me.

What I don't have pictures of is the squirming on the kitchen floor, the relocation to Daddy's lap in the living room, the bouncing on Daddy's lap, me giving the scissors to Ray so that he could get to a certain part, me trying to hold him still, him discovering a piece of block on the floor that the dog had chewed up, artfully sneaking it into his mouth, gagging on it, and throwing up. 

Here's the after:

It was a subtle cut.

Next time I'm putting cartoons on the tv and plopping him on the $1 tablecloth in the living room floor... Linda style.