Snarky Parenting Book Rant

Readers, please get out your parenting books and turn to the chapter (or page or paragraph) on twins. Don't tell me the title of the book. Now, without ever having read the book you're looking at, I'm going to summarize the author's advice for parents of twins. Let's see... Get plenty of rest, ask for help, and neglect the housework. Am I right? Ding, ding, ding! It's not a Jedi mind trick, folks, most parenting books offer the same lame-o advice about raising twins.

Get plenty of rest - Ha! That's sweet.

Ask for help - Yes, because my friends and family have so much free time on their hands. I'm sure that after working fifty hours a week or wiping their own children's tushies all day, they can't wait to clean my bathroom and make me a lasagna. When family members or close friends offer help, I absolutely say yes, but no way am I going to ask other people with full lives to add something else to their own plates. Life is hard for everybody.

Neglect the Housework - Actually, I prefer that my children NOT eat debris off the floor or sit in a tub that's growing its very own ecosystem. And besides, what could be more depressing than spending all day in a dump?

I get it, Book Author, you want your book to have a wide market, and since twins are pretty common these days, you and your editor thought you needed to weigh in with a little expert opinion. Pssst... you're not fooling any of the twin mommies.