Loyal readers know that the "babies" turning two has brought about some changes, most notably converting the cribs to toddler beds and potty training Veda. Also thrown into the mix as of late is the the re-emergence of Veda's separation anxiety. Crazy, spider-monkey-clingy separation anxiety. Naps are getting shorter, too.
Put it all together, and this is how I'm feeling right about now:
|Approximate size of my current pile of laundry|
For folks who haven't experienced twins sharing a bedroom/moving out of cribs, let me share how nap time goes down around here. On a good day, which is when they are tiiiiiired, I only have to put them back in their beds maybe once or twice, and then they snuggle up and doze off. On a not-so-good day, I spend anywhere from 1-1.5 hours (used to be longer!) sitting in their room with them to force them to stay in their own beds. They continuously throw their pacifiers to each other, try to get into each others' beds, and sometimes throw every stuffed friend, blanket, and pillow they can grab on the floor. My frustration level runs about a 15 on a scale of 1-10 on those days.
Thanks to shorter naps, I'm finding that on a lot of days just when I've finished my lunch, cleaned up the kitchen, and decided on what the next housework priority should be, nap time is over. Sigh.
But, don't toddlers like to help? This little girl certainly does.
Sometimes the "help" actually does kind of help, although in a long, roundabout way - like when they help me unload the dishwasher. Sometimes, though, Veda "helping" means that Linus is creating a whole new mess in the play room. Cooking has become one of the biggest challenges of the day as both kids want to sit on the counter to help. But then they're both pulling stuff out of the utensil holder or dropping things in the toaster. All normal toddler stuff, but it's all just stacking up to make me feel mucho overwhelmed.
I can't keep this up. As much as I enjoy cooking, I don't enjoy what cooking has become, so I'm trying to minimize, minimize, minimize. Instead of making the tasty, ultra-healthy breakfast muffins we all love, I stocked up on freezer waffles at the grocery store this week. I'm scaling back the cooking on lunches, too - for me and them. It's something.
People like to ask me if it's getting easier. And, yes, some things are easier. One thing that comes to mind immediately is the night sleep. But I'm finding it harder than ever, ever, ever to keep my head above water. I do NOT feel put together.
I don't like to talk about twins vs. singletons because I know that we all have our own challenges. Today, though, I'm saying it - parenting twins is HARD. It's all of the little things throughout the day - me trying to wrangle them both in the car when it's just me and all they want to do is run into the back yard. Trying to change Linus's diaper while Veda is crying, crying, CRYING because she wants to be held. Taking Veda to the potty and trying to keep Linus from throwing toys in the tub and then whining when he can't reach them.
Yes, I love my children more than anyone has ever loved their children, and I have more than enough perspective to appreciate them beyond measure. But what I want to say is that this stage is hard. And it's kicking my butt.