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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Sleep

Last night Veda woke twice, and Linus woke three times. It was a "good" night for us.

It's been a year since I slept all night. That's not counting pregnancy sleep disturbances.

On the days after a "good" night (i.e., a night where I feel like I've completed at least one sleep cycle), I can laugh about it.

On the days after a bad night, sure, I'm pretty cranky about it. Desperate middle-of-the-night utterings of "I can't do this anymore" have been made. Still, you know what? I keep doing it.

But here's the point of this post: It isn't my fault.

Maybe you disagree, but hear me out. I've read many sleep books. I've read practically every bit of baby sleep information available on the internet. And I've tried everything I felt I could do in good conscience. Here's the conclusion I've come to:

I can do my best to lead the babies to sleep, but that's all I can do.

It isn't my fault.

It may not seem like a big deal to you, but that little revelation was a BIG DEAL around here. Giving in to that idea meant that I got to stop feeling guilty about some mistaken idea that I was depriving my children of the sleep they need to grow. It meant that I got to stop the pointless research that wasted time I could have spent doing something enjoyable. It meant that I got to stop feeling like a failure.

So, Internet People, some kids aren't good sleepers. You do what you can do, and that's what you can do.
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2 comments:

  1. Good for you for accepting that! I think you can try everything all the books say and some babies just aren't good sleepers. No reason to feel guilty Mommy...you're doing a great job =)

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  2. I just found your blog when you posted their birthday updates! Wish I had found it sooner. =)

    Eirik doesn't sleep either and like you i've tried things and have finally accepted he's not a good sleeper.

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